I feel lonely.
It's 4:15 now.
My sis called me at like 2:30 saying she's not gonna be in. And that's she not going to dinner with me either.
Why do I feel sad?
Why, when I walked through the door, did it feel so lonely?
As I sit here, typing on the keyboard, looking around me - the table, the kitchen, the clock, the light, the television, the sofa, me. I feel lonely.
I called my mum, hoping for something to pass the time at least. And she hangs up barely 5 seconds later with something as simple as "gotta go, I'll call you some other time". The silence after that felt lonely.
Why, when I see pictures of my friends in Brisbane - all of them smiling and moving on with life, do I feel so utterly unimportant?
What was I expecting?
Natalie uploaded a photo on facebook. Our class of 2006, all dressed up for racial harmony day.
How far have I come since then? So, so, so far.
Where am I now? Far, far, far behind.
Its just aggravating watching the clock. Watching the seconds dance by gracefully. It seems to stop at times, and go quicker at some parts.
Who am I kidding? Its a clock. Time doesn't slow down nor speed up.
I feel like holding it in place and making it stop just for a while. I can't keep up at the pace its going at.
It's 4:33 now. It took 18 minutes to write all this.
How did I feel 18 minutes ago? Thats right - lonely.
Nothings changed.
Maybe that's a good thing huh?